Reflecting

I often think about writing, well, blogging really. During any given day there will be things that I want to write about, but when it comes time to actually get them down on paper (okay, on a computer), it all escapes me. Either that or it just seems terribly cheesy and I end up nixing the whole idea. I often think about writing more things down about Yoshimi because I love going back and reliving memories and moments gone by. It would be good for posterity to get all things things recorded while still fresh in my mind. Perhaps it's because of the recent events that Amanda has experienced and now has only memories of sweet Max that I want to be sure that I never forget. Okay, I admit, there are things that I'd like to forget, like how I really lose it at times and take it out on my family, and how my negative behavior is reflected and copied by Yoshi and taken out on Tom. Sure, those things, I'd like to not remember.

Oh but I never want to forget the day she was born. The image of looking into Yoshi's grey-blue eyes and her looking back into mine in the middle of the night at the hospital is forever engrained in my mind. It sealed the deal and I would take care of her no matter what. (more or less, except on blue moons, February 29th, and those other days when I don't feel like being a mom.)

I don't want to forget:

the first week she was with us and I thought, "She's like a little baby dinosaur that eats, cries, poops, and sleeps. So cute!"

or her first smile.

or how all her tiny clothes were still too big for her even tinier newborn body.

or her first giggle.

or her ability to projectile vomit three feet across a room.

same with poop.

or her first time rolling over.

or her first time sitting up.

or how she used to repeatedly crawl up and down our bed for a half hour to an hour every night before settling down and going to sleep.

or her first time camping.

or her first time using sign language (most notably, the sentence "Hungry, eat, yogurt" at 1 year old)

or her first steps.

running.

jumping.

somersaults.

handstands.

pull-ups.

push-ups.

peeing on the toilet.

There are some less charming things that are good to remember to, like:

going "boneless" and flopping around in a tantrum

Kicking.

Biting.

Scratching.

Hiting.

Wahhh!!!

It's amazing how grown-up Yoshimi is now. Yesterday morning during breakfast Yoshi said, "Oh, today is not my lucky day!" I asked why. She replied, "Because Daddy isn't here." When did my baby start speaking in full, complete sentences? I guess I noticed it happening right before she turned 2, but these sentences are really advanced, at least for my expections for a toddler. She speaks better than I do. She spends more time with friends than I do, that's for sure.

Tonight Yoshi helped Tom make a cake. She poured the water and oil in the bowl. She cracked an egg. She helped frost it when it finished baking and had cooled off a bit. As she was eating a slice she said, "Come Daddy! Won't you come sit by me and eat some yummy cake? Okay? 'kay!"

At school, she helps her classmates put on their shoes or zip up their jackets. Ella says, "Yoshi can you help zip up my jacket?" "Okay!" she says, and helps her. Of course, sometimes she'll scream across the room, "Simone! I don't like you!!" and repeat it several times and make her friend cry. Sometimes she'll throw in a shove for good measure. Yoshi's gonna be a "Mean Girl" when she gets older. Sigh.

There are so many memories that are filed away. Some are easily accessible. Some I may not remember until something jogs my memory. Pictures help. Videos too. But my poor brain isn't what it used to be and I know there are some things that I may never recall. I suppose this is why we're supposed to cherish each moment as it happens. I can only try.