Another sporadic post

Still here, folks.

I turned 39 on Tuesday. Took the day off work, went to a doctor's appointment (pragmatism!), grabbed coffee and donuts with a friend, walked around. Hit up two fabric stores – Britex and Discount Fabrics – getting both ends of the spectrum there, and walked away empty-handed but full of inspiration for my next sewing projects.

I read my book. I knit. Had a lovely dinner with Yoshi at Sushi Time, my local joint riddled with charm, good food, and easy on the pocketbook. She didn't pull out her phone once. I can't say the same for myself, guilty of taking an IG-story pic.

We hit up Walgreens on the walk back home, and I indulged her on some makeup. Clear mascara (is there a point to this?). And then false eyelashes. I like her subtle/not subtle juxtaposition. She told me, "We can bond by putting these on. Do fun things together!" She knows I'm a sucker if she frames an activity as bonding and spending quality time together. I told her that I have no idea how to put on fake eyelashes. This will be a learning experience.

And so, it's my birthday month. I can't say I've indulged myself as much as previous years, but I can't really complain. I bought some yarn. Bought two sewing patterns. I will purchase another flight out to NYC, though for travel in November. I've danced a couple times. Hung out with some friends. Chatted with my mom. Got a haircut since it had been 8 months since my last one. I think I'm finally going to get my sofa and carpet deep cleaned since I have never done that since moving in four years ago and it's all pretty gross. It's impossible to keep ecru clean.

It's the last of my thirties. I can see my body going soft, my hair growing grey, and my mind not as sharp as it used to be. Aging. It's okay though. I'm trying very hard to embrace this process, despite the media and insidious culture glorifying youth through the constant bombardment of images (photoshopped flawless skin!) and words (anti-aging! let's just inject ourselves with formaldehyde!).

As someone who works with a lot of Millennials, I'm glad I'm not their age anymore. I can see a lot of self-doubt (which I still combat myself), naiveté, and entitlement. And of course that's not true for all of them. But man, I do feel the divide. I wish I could harness some of their energy though.

What will thirty-nine have in store for me? Probably more of the same. At this point, it's getting harder to change directions. Will I still want to move to New York after Yoshi finishes high school? I'll be honest that it's getting harder to keep the motivation up. Inertia is strong and the longer I stay here, I know the less likely I will move. That said, I should definitely look into jobs out there and make some connections (network, if you will). Keep that motivation going.