Update

My aunt is recovering from her surgery. She's taking it day by day. Her sister is a doctor and has been keeping us up to date on how Auntie Nadine is doing. Here's a snippet from her last email a few days ago:

She is improving, though a bit tired. Last nite she sat up for an hour and managed to stand, important b/c her left thigh hurts b/c she had the graft taken from the thigh. She continue to communicate well thru gestures and writing on erase tablet, unfortunately we cannot seem to understand her, so if you were a fly on the wall, it would seem like a game of charades with her gesturing and my trying to guess what she is saying. Which you can imagine for her is quite frustrating.

Is it wrong that I guffawed when I imagined everyone playing charades very poorly and my aunt wanting to just bang her head against the wall? Ah, tragic humor.

I'm in the process of putting together a care package for her. It looks like she's in need of high-protein, high-calorie soups, drinks and smoothies. Recipes, anyone?

The not-so-fun things in life

You know, life can be great. It really can. I have a lovely life. I'm lucky that I was born here in California, comfortable in my middle-class status, in a progressive first world. And even more astounding, I have a wonderful family and awesome friends.

And yet, things can't always be sunshine and roses. That's not what life is. Life is unfair and we don't always get what we want (as Yoshi will attest to). We can't escape our own mortality, and as we get older, we are faced with (or at least made aware of) life's fleetingness more and more.

My aunt Nadine was recently diagnosed with tongue cancer. She embarks on a difficult journey this Friday to have most of her tongue removed, then will go through a reconstructive process and have to learn how to eat, swallow, and talk again. And go through radiation. This is a woman who is an amazing cook and is the original "foodie" in our family. She never smokes and only has the occasional drink. The cause of her cancer is unknown.

I procrastinated calling Auntie Nadine for almost a week because I didn't know what to say. I'm not a phone person to begin with. I do much better with pictures than words (says the photographer), and conversations are not always easy for me, especially the hard ones. So to dial her up, which I'm not sure I've ever done, was stressing me out. I didn't want to say the wrong thing and further upset her. But Tom reminded me that all I need to do is show my aunt support. What the exact words are didn't matter.

And really, what she is facing is epic compared to me mustering courage to simply pick up the phone. I'm ridiculous.

So today I called her. And I said, "I don't know what to say," and she said, "You know, neither do I." And we both laughed a little and cried a little. And we both felt better.